DECEASED - KILLED IN DAY SIX WRAP-UP Full Name: Serena De Paula Castro From (Hometown):Madrid, Spain Gender: Female Ethnicity: Spanish Traits (Appearance): light brown hair, brown eyes, short stature and a mysterious face. Reason for coming on the plane: Serena was a Portuguese teacher at University of Chicago and this flight to Rio de Janeiro would give her more experience with the language or more experience for her life. Brief History (Criminal record, past): (no criminal record) Serena was born in Spain and moved to United States when she was 13 years old with her family. The girl is 32 years old and she always had a dream which was meet the world and learn as much of different cultures as possible. Anything else: N/A
DAY ONE
My mom was begging trying to make her stay: "I had a terrible dream this night my daughter. You were crying and calling my name in a place of darkness and fear, your voice was suffocated because you were trying to use your last forces and hopes to stay alive."
"Mom, it was just a nightmare. I know i will be far from you for a long time, but you don't have to worry." I said in response.
"You are not safe, trust me Serena." My mother said in reluctance.
"I am doing the best for my career. I am going and i love you, never forget that", and that was my last words to my mom. I should have listened to her. she was right, i am not safe and i don't even remember what safety means anymore. I am lost in the middle of nothing and I just know that I have to take the right decisions and for the first time in my life be rational. I am not gonna the silly girl anymore. I have to fight and fight hard for my life and i will do whatever is necessary to keep me alive. I have to find a way to go home and get out of here. I can be losing my forces, but i still have the hope of getting out of here. My nightmares can be killing my wishes of staying alive, but i still have the hope inside me screaming for attention and begging to be part of my existence, begging to consume whatever is putting me down and whatever is asking me to give up. My hope is begging to lead my story to somewhere else, because this place cannot be the place where I put an end on my life. This place will be the place where my life turns into something new.
Day two:
I was starving, it was my second day and the only thing i have ate was a coconut , but they say that a normal human could stay one week without food so i would stay two. I tried to find a nice place to sleep and i failed. The only water in body was the one from the coconut. Oh coconuts i used to hate them now they are my best friends! At my first night I slept at the sand but not at this time, i have to prepare myself. I don't know how many days i would have to stay at this place. The forest is kind of 50 miles from here and my only problem was the animals. God, how am i suppose to know the type of insects or animals at this place? I don't even know where i am and my only clues of what i am suppose to do is that book about Robinson Crusue. I wish I could have a bottle of tequila with me right now that would help a lot. My friends used to say that i should stop drinking, but how can i handle this situation without alcohol on my body. I was walking in the direction of the forest, me, a coconut and a lighter, maybe my smoking problems would be useful at this time, to burn my feelings of "i don't belong to this place" or feelings of "i would rather be dead by now". I found a big tree with some sand around it and i slept for one entire day waiting for a resolution for my problems. Failed. Am I the only person alive? If yes I don't feel any type of joy at all.
Day Three:
It was my third day at the island and i had a feeling that something would change soon, maybe for the best, or maybe not. I woke up and i walked into the forest. I was scared like a chihuahua far away from home. I walked into the forest and i saw an orange tree full of fruits but with a sign on the top of the trunk saying something in a different language. I couldn't translate and the red letters brought me the feeling that i shouldn't. Even afraid of keep going i kept. I had to know where I was and i wanted to get a better place to sleep, so i kept going without looking back. When I was getting extremely tired i decided to lay down for a while and sleep for a few minutes, but when i woke up i wasn't in the same place anymore. I was in the other side of the island, and somehow i got there. I just couldn't remember. I could see a light in the end of the tunnel, I could see little boats at the distance. Were they real? or I was definitely getting crazy?
Day Four:
I saw boats. I saw small boats coming to save me. I wasn’t getting crazy. I kept waiting on the beach for two days in a row just eating coconuts and screaming the whole day. What should I do? What if they were real and I walk away? Lose this incredible chance of going back home? Na way! At least I had to try. Eat coconuts and try to get hydrated was my main goal. I definitely wasn’t the type of person who knew how to kill animals and find special types of eatable plants, but at least I was doing my best eating insects. Oh God they were so disgusting! Almost dying of starvation I saw my first sign of hope: a real crab. So I started to crazy fallow the crab like crazy until I realize that I was lost again but at this time without boats coming to save me.
Day Five:
Walking through the sand I saw paw prints in front of me. At first i ignored them, but after some minutes the paw prints caught my attention. It was dog's paw prints. I kept following fallowing the paw prints until I get to a tent made of bamboo. The tent looked old and outworn what made me think about the possibilities of someone living there. If there was someone living there was the human being a native or someone who got in the same situation? I had no answers for that yet. With sacrifice I walked into the tent, and i saw a huge and beautiful white dog inside. The creature was staring at me making every single inch of my body feel fear, but the white dog wasn't barking or growling. How was that possible? I always had bad dreams with dogs, the feeling of having them close to me always freaked me out. However, not this time. Having the dog looking at me gave me feeling of peace. The feeling of not being totally alone after all. Okay i understand, It was just a dog but staying five days hopeless maybe made me start to value the things that before I used to hate. Trying to get closer I sat down close to him and said: "Hello, I don't know anything about you but I need a friend and If you are feeling lonely as well, feel free to come closer." The dog came and laid down close to me.
Day Six:
The dog was by my side but something was telling me that his owner could come at any time and do god knows what with my existence. I was scared, of course I scared, but after getting to this island being scared was the only thing that I learned how to do well. Walking to get some fresh water and maybe some type of food I saw three warning signals. I mean, i didn't really know if it was a warning sing, It just looked like one. It had the dark red letters and the different language. That brought me the feeling that maybe i wasn't alone but i wanted to be alone. I didn't wanted to stay at this island with the unknown. It would be a really fantastic experience finding real humans living in this place, but I don't really wanted to be part of it.
Day Seven:
I felt like dying wasn't that bad at all. For the first i felt free from nightmares. I just missed my old life, my old and calm life. When day say that when the end comes there's nothing you could do they are right. Life is just a really short passage which sometimes lasts long and some other times not at all. Now i just felt like a blank space with nothing inside. I just had one doubt: Is there food in the heaven? Because i would feel very upset about living the eternity without good food.
Day Eight:
It was the most emotional day of my dead life. I saw my Grandma. My grandma the one who used to make me cookies and sing Christmas songs to me, the one who used to pick me up at school and make me soup and I got sick, the one with the biggest heart in the heaven or earth. She was there in front of me asking for a hug which I gave trying to hide my tears. Was it real? my whole life has been taken away, but maybe it's just something or someone giving a second chance of living again in a better place with someone who I loved until my last breath.
Day Nine:
It was like a spring day. I saw all sorts of flowers and magical stuff. Breathing never felt so easy and my heart never felt so light. I was opened to felt and kind of feeling, to let my happiness by my side. I would never choose to go back to life. Life is just an ocean of disappointment and bad sensations. I Just wanted everybody to feel the same, because it was unfair to be living a ordinary life down earth crying for the dead while they just enjoy the opportunity of being here. I see people crying for my death but it just brings me the feeling of "please, don't"" there's no needy for it."
Day Ten:
I was a magical day playing with little kids at the zoo and yes they have zoo in the heaven. I saw all kinds of animals and all kinds of happiness. It wasn't a place for sadness and bad feelings. It was a place to laugh and wait. Why wait? because who you love is still down there, so we had to wait a lot until the opportunity comes. They would die one day, that's true and they would come to the same place i am right now. So yes it's probably mean to hope this, but it's probably better to receive someone who you love than your enemies. It wasn't a hopeless place.
Day Eleven:
I couldn't be happier. I had just found out that dogs are little angels at earth to teach us what love is. If you knew someone who doesn't like the poor creatures they are probably something more than evil. How can you hate pure creatures like them? Dogs were their whole time there suffering trying to teach was what love was about, and how to be pure. All animals are there to make us understand what love is. All animals are there to to make us better human beings. My life up there was finally getting better, because of the big opportunities of being there. I got a job at the heaven taking care and training the little angels to go down earth and teach love to ungrateful humans whom just think about themselves and about problems.
Day Twelve:
It was Christmas and i wasn't with my whole family, but i was with my lovely grandma. It had been more than 15 years since she died. Since the day she left was christmas wasnt the same anymore, the family was always fighting and sad and the food was not that tasty anymore. We were all getting older but our hearts were still crying for her presence. Now she was right here with me. I could spend the rest of my existence with her, with her big heart.
My grandma named Maria was Spanish married with a Italian. Her pretty accent with mix of Spanish and Italian together had made her stories my favorite part of the day. Her way of cocking was so special that i couldn't think about diet going to her house.
Day Thirteen:
The wind never felt so good. I have always loved the nature, but nature was part of being alive. So, feeling the wind again made me feel more alive than i have ever been. It was a kind of nostalgic feeling which made me laugh in contact with it. It brought me a feeling of Saudade, I just couldn't explain what was going on with me. I just grabbed my dig and went back to where i was suppose to be. The rest was simple, just wait and wait for something to happen.
Day Fourteen:
I felt like lost in the heaven. The gold was in the ground, but where was the funny stuff? the laughs which would last for a long time. The feeling of joy. The feeling of your heart beating so hard making you feel wonderful. The hard parts of life then the good ones to make you feel good. The feeling of having plenty time when actually have none. The feeling of feeling and then recovering. The sensation of being the owner of the world and then having nothing. The love. The wish of having who you love near you. Those are feelings that you cant feel when you up here, its just too boring.
Day Fifteen:
It was a dark stormy night, and i never realized that in the heaven. It rained all day, and someone told me that when it rains over here, rains down there. It means that he is sad with something that is happening somewhere in the universe. Well, i was sad too, but the sky doesn't cry for me. Sad is when you don't know where you are, or why are you here, what are you going to do after all of this? what are you going to do right now? Sad is when you don't have the answer for this kind of question and you just let it go with the time, and you keep doing nothing as it goes. Waiting for something that is never going to happen, never, never, never. Stay at the same place for the rest of your life, without willing or wishing something better than you have, because you already have the best on their eyes, but what about what is the best for you? No one cares or want to know the answer. Maybe i am to be to deserve to be here, to be or want to be here. Give me something better.
Day sixteen:
I don't want to feel bad for myself anymore, my dead life has been changing to fast.
I went down to talk with my grandmother, and she told me that she was going back to earth or something like that. I just blocked the feeling of maybe losing her again and thought about it as something good for her, some kind of progress. That's true, i was going to be left behind again. I just wish i could be happy again.
Day seventeen:
I had been feeling really tired, like my body was being consumed by a bigger force. I just couldn't understand why, but i was feeling like that. My grandma said that maybe was because my body was finally getting used to being up there. Since the day i got there, my body was exhausted, but i didn't feel pain, just tired. Now was like my whole body was damaged, i like if i lost something important, or even the wish of staying there. I was fighting against my senses to find a way to feel better, but it was getting badder every day.
Day eighteen:
I was wondering, what would happen to me if i get killed when i am already dead? That was a wonderful question. What would happen o me if i get killed? I guess i wouldn't die, but when you are in my situation you never know what could happen to you. I felt pain, so i didnt think that i would be able to have the courage to hurt myself. So i asked a friend to do it, she called me crazy, but i was just curious. My friend stabbed me to death and i felt pain of course, but just for five seconds and then it passed. I couldn't die.
Day nineteen:
I have always liked music, sometimes music was all i had ever got. Music was actually part of who I was, I've always like to spend my little free time enjoying good songs with my mom or friends. Feeling happy, relaxed, that was it. I missed music, good voices, good singers. Angels are perfect but they don't sing. For days i felt like something was missing and now i realize that is a little bit of happiness in my life, a little bit of melody.
Day twenty:
It was the end of my days. I was going to come back to earth and live my life again. Like if someone was giving me a new opportunity of starting back to the zero again. A baby to a prosperous life, i don't really know the conditions, i am just happy of coming back. We are not allowed to know about what is going to happen to us in our future, or how, even though we forget everything when we get there. It's basically starting from the bottom again. We just really know that we are receiving a new chance to make things right, to make a new life for ourselves, and try to not fail. We really have to try to get the best of it.
DECEASED - KILLED IN DAY SIX WRAP-UP
Full Name: Serena De Paula Castro
From (Hometown): Madrid, Spain
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Spanish
Traits (Appearance): light brown hair, brown eyes, short stature and a mysterious face.
Reason for coming on the plane: Serena was a Portuguese teacher at University of Chicago and this flight to Rio de Janeiro would give her more experience with the language or more experience for her life.
Brief History (Criminal record, past): (no criminal record) Serena was born in Spain and moved to United States when she was 13 years old with her family. The girl is 32 years old and she always had a dream which was meet the world and learn as much of different cultures as possible.
Anything else: N/A
DAY ONE
My mom was begging trying to make her stay: "I had a terrible dream this night my daughter. You were crying and calling my name in a place of darkness and fear, your voice was suffocated because you were trying to use your last forces and hopes to stay alive.""Mom, it was just a nightmare. I know i will be far from you for a long time, but you don't have to worry." I said in response.
"You are not safe, trust me Serena." My mother said in reluctance.
"I am doing the best for my career. I am going and i love you, never forget that", and that was my last words to my mom. I should have listened to her. she was right, i am not safe and i don't even remember what safety means anymore. I am lost in the middle of nothing and I just know that I have to take the right decisions and for the first time in my life be rational. I am not gonna the silly girl anymore. I have to fight and fight hard for my life and i will do whatever is necessary to keep me alive. I have to find a way to go home and get out of here. I can be losing my forces, but i still have the hope of getting out of here. My nightmares can be killing my wishes of staying alive, but i still have the hope inside me screaming for attention and begging to be part of my existence, begging to consume whatever is putting me down and whatever is asking me to give up. My hope is begging to lead my story to somewhere else, because this place cannot be the place where I put an end on my life. This place will be the place where my life turns into something new.
Day two:
I was starving, it was my second day and the only thing i have ate was a coconut , but they say that a normal human could stay one week without food so i would stay two. I tried to find a nice place to sleep and i failed. The only water in body was the one from the coconut. Oh coconuts i used to hate them now they are my best friends! At my first night I slept at the sand but not at this time, i have to prepare myself. I don't know how many days i would have to stay at this place. The forest is kind of 50 miles from here and my only problem was the animals. God, how am i suppose to know the type of insects or animals at this place? I don't even know where i am and my only clues of what i am suppose to do is that book about Robinson Crusue. I wish I could have a bottle of tequila with me right now that would help a lot. My friends used to say that i should stop drinking, but how can i handle this situation without alcohol on my body. I was walking in the direction of the forest, me, a coconut and a lighter, maybe my smoking problems would be useful at this time, to burn my feelings of "i don't belong to this place" or feelings of "i would rather be dead by now". I found a big tree with some sand around it and i slept for one entire day waiting for a resolution for my problems. Failed. Am I the only person alive? If yes I don't feel any type of joy at all.Day Three:
It was my third day at the island and i had a feeling that something would change soon, maybe for the best, or maybe not. I woke up and i walked into the forest. I was scared like a chihuahua far away from home. I walked into the forest and i saw an orange tree full of fruits but with a sign on the top of the trunk saying something in a different language. I couldn't translate and the red letters brought me the feeling that i shouldn't. Even afraid of keep going i kept. I had to know where I was and i wanted to get a better place to sleep, so i kept going without looking back. When I was getting extremely tired i decided to lay down for a while and sleep for a few minutes, but when i woke up i wasn't in the same place anymore. I was in the other side of the island, and somehow i got there. I just couldn't remember. I could see a light in the end of the tunnel, I could see little boats at the distance. Were they real? or I was definitely getting crazy?Day Four:
I saw boats. I saw small boats coming to save me. I wasn’t getting crazy. I kept waiting on the beach for two days in a row just eating coconuts and screaming the whole day. What should I do? What if they were real and I walk away? Lose this incredible chance of going back home? Na way! At least I had to try. Eat coconuts and try to get hydrated was my main goal. I definitely wasn’t the type of person who knew how to kill animals and find special types of eatable plants, but at least I was doing my best eating insects. Oh God they were so disgusting! Almost dying of starvation I saw my first sign of hope: a real crab. So I started to crazy fallow the crab like crazy until I realize that I was lost again but at this time without boats coming to save me.Day Five:
Walking through the sand I saw paw prints in front of me. At first i ignored them, but after some minutes the paw prints caught my attention. It was dog's paw prints. I kept following fallowing the paw prints until I get to a tent made of bamboo. The tent looked old and outworn what made me think about the possibilities of someone living there. If there was someone living there was the human being a native or someone who got in the same situation? I had no answers for that yet. With sacrifice I walked into the tent, and i saw a huge and beautiful white dog inside. The creature was staring at me making every single inch of my body feel fear, but the white dog wasn't barking or growling. How was that possible? I always had bad dreams with dogs, the feeling of having them close to me always freaked me out. However, not this time. Having the dog looking at me gave me feeling of peace. The feeling of not being totally alone after all. Okay i understand, It was just a dog but staying five days hopeless maybe made me start to value the things that before I used to hate. Trying to get closer I sat down close to him and said: "Hello, I don't know anything about you but I need a friend and If you are feeling lonely as well, feel free to come closer." The dog came and laid down close to me.Day Six:
The dog was by my side but something was telling me that his owner could come at any time and do god knows what with my existence. I was scared, of course I scared, but after getting to this island being scared was the only thing that I learned how to do well. Walking to get some fresh water and maybe some type of food I saw three warning signals. I mean, i didn't really know if it was a warning sing, It just looked like one. It had the dark red letters and the different language. That brought me the feeling that maybe i wasn't alone but i wanted to be alone. I didn't wanted to stay at this island with the unknown. It would be a really fantastic experience finding real humans living in this place, but I don't really wanted to be part of it.Day Seven:
I felt like dying wasn't that bad at all. For the first i felt free from nightmares. I just missed my old life, my old and calm life. When day say that when the end comes there's nothing you could do they are right. Life is just a really short passage which sometimes lasts long and some other times not at all. Now i just felt like a blank space with nothing inside. I just had one doubt: Is there food in the heaven? Because i would feel very upset about living the eternity without good food.Day Eight:
It was the most emotional day of my dead life. I saw my Grandma. My grandma the one who used to make me cookies and sing Christmas songs to me, the one who used to pick me up at school and make me soup and I got sick, the one with the biggest heart in the heaven or earth. She was there in front of me asking for a hug which I gave trying to hide my tears. Was it real? my whole life has been taken away, but maybe it's just something or someone giving a second chance of living again in a better place with someone who I loved until my last breath.Day Nine:
It was like a spring day. I saw all sorts of flowers and magical stuff. Breathing never felt so easy and my heart never felt so light. I was opened to felt and kind of feeling, to let my happiness by my side. I would never choose to go back to life. Life is just an ocean of disappointment and bad sensations. I Just wanted everybody to feel the same, because it was unfair to be living a ordinary life down earth crying for the dead while they just enjoy the opportunity of being here. I see people crying for my death but it just brings me the feeling of "please, don't"" there's no needy for it."Day Ten:
I was a magical day playing with little kids at the zoo and yes they have zoo in the heaven. I saw all kinds of animals and all kinds of happiness. It wasn't a place for sadness and bad feelings. It was a place to laugh and wait. Why wait? because who you love is still down there, so we had to wait a lot until the opportunity comes. They would die one day, that's true and they would come to the same place i am right now. So yes it's probably mean to hope this, but it's probably better to receive someone who you love than your enemies. It wasn't a hopeless place.Day Eleven:
I couldn't be happier. I had just found out that dogs are little angels at earth to teach us what love is. If you knew someone who doesn't like the poor creatures they are probably something more than evil. How can you hate pure creatures like them? Dogs were their whole time there suffering trying to teach was what love was about, and how to be pure. All animals are there to make us understand what love is. All animals are there to to make us better human beings. My life up there was finally getting better, because of the big opportunities of being there. I got a job at the heaven taking care and training the little angels to go down earth and teach love to ungrateful humans whom just think about themselves and about problems.Day Twelve:
It was Christmas and i wasn't with my whole family, but i was with my lovely grandma. It had been more than 15 years since she died. Since the day she left was christmas wasnt the same anymore, the family was always fighting and sad and the food was not that tasty anymore. We were all getting older but our hearts were still crying for her presence. Now she was right here with me. I could spend the rest of my existence with her, with her big heart.My grandma named Maria was Spanish married with a Italian. Her pretty accent with mix of Spanish and Italian together had made her stories my favorite part of the day. Her way of cocking was so special that i couldn't think about diet going to her house.
Day Thirteen:
The wind never felt so good. I have always loved the nature, but nature was part of being alive. So, feeling the wind again made me feel more alive than i have ever been. It was a kind of nostalgic feeling which made me laugh in contact with it. It brought me a feeling of Saudade, I just couldn't explain what was going on with me. I just grabbed my dig and went back to where i was suppose to be. The rest was simple, just wait and wait for something to happen.Day Fourteen:
I felt like lost in the heaven. The gold was in the ground, but where was the funny stuff? the laughs which would last for a long time. The feeling of joy. The feeling of your heart beating so hard making you feel wonderful. The hard parts of life then the good ones to make you feel good. The feeling of having plenty time when actually have none. The feeling of feeling and then recovering. The sensation of being the owner of the world and then having nothing. The love. The wish of having who you love near you. Those are feelings that you cant feel when you up here, its just too boring.Day Fifteen:
It was a dark stormy night, and i never realized that in the heaven. It rained all day, and someone told me that when it rains over here, rains down there. It means that he is sad with something that is happening somewhere in the universe. Well, i was sad too, but the sky doesn't cry for me. Sad is when you don't know where you are, or why are you here, what are you going to do after all of this? what are you going to do right now? Sad is when you don't have the answer for this kind of question and you just let it go with the time, and you keep doing nothing as it goes. Waiting for something that is never going to happen, never, never, never. Stay at the same place for the rest of your life, without willing or wishing something better than you have, because you already have the best on their eyes, but what about what is the best for you? No one cares or want to know the answer. Maybe i am to be to deserve to be here, to be or want to be here. Give me something better.Day sixteen:
I don't want to feel bad for myself anymore, my dead life has been changing to fast.I went down to talk with my grandmother, and she told me that she was going back to earth or something like that. I just blocked the feeling of maybe losing her again and thought about it as something good for her, some kind of progress. That's true, i was going to be left behind again. I just wish i could be happy again.
Day seventeen:
I had been feeling really tired, like my body was being consumed by a bigger force. I just couldn't understand why, but i was feeling like that. My grandma said that maybe was because my body was finally getting used to being up there. Since the day i got there, my body was exhausted, but i didn't feel pain, just tired. Now was like my whole body was damaged, i like if i lost something important, or even the wish of staying there. I was fighting against my senses to find a way to feel better, but it was getting badder every day.Day eighteen:
I was wondering, what would happen to me if i get killed when i am already dead? That was a wonderful question. What would happen o me if i get killed? I guess i wouldn't die, but when you are in my situation you never know what could happen to you. I felt pain, so i didnt think that i would be able to have the courage to hurt myself. So i asked a friend to do it, she called me crazy, but i was just curious. My friend stabbed me to death and i felt pain of course, but just for five seconds and then it passed. I couldn't die.Day nineteen:
I have always liked music, sometimes music was all i had ever got. Music was actually part of who I was, I've always like to spend my little free time enjoying good songs with my mom or friends. Feeling happy, relaxed, that was it. I missed music, good voices, good singers. Angels are perfect but they don't sing. For days i felt like something was missing and now i realize that is a little bit of happiness in my life, a little bit of melody.Day twenty:
It was the end of my days. I was going to come back to earth and live my life again. Like if someone was giving me a new opportunity of starting back to the zero again. A baby to a prosperous life, i don't really know the conditions, i am just happy of coming back. We are not allowed to know about what is going to happen to us in our future, or how, even though we forget everything when we get there. It's basically starting from the bottom again. We just really know that we are receiving a new chance to make things right, to make a new life for ourselves, and try to not fail. We really have to try to get the best of it.